Ok, so when I was in Sri Lanka I worked out all day surfing and doing construction in the southeast. The weather is hot and humid. Nearly 120 degrees in the shade! The ocean was only 87 degrees by noon… And you would walk to every destination. Flip flops, board shorts, and tank tops were the staple clothes. Anything else and it was too hot. At night the coldest it got was at about 4 am. And you knew this, because the mosques would begin their call to prayer which would wake you, and though annoying at first, it became a soothing time to enjoy the cool air culture.
The food was amazing, a mix between Thai and Indian food; spicy and sweet. Coconut, roti, lime, onions, and chili powder, and rice mixed with vegetables made up for pretty much every single meal all day every day. Three weeks in it hit me. I want meat. I’ve seen friends and locals eating meat. Given they have been there for years or all their lives; they probably are immune to bacteria. So I went to local family restaurant and ordered a plate of Cotu Roti. Cotu Roti is vegetables and chopped meat thrown onto a hot plate. The meat is water buffalo. But the meat would sit out on the shelves all day or maybe a couple days. I dug in!
The next day I am pretty sure I sprinted for the bathroom. I also am pretty sure it was me that backed up the plumbing… Sorry Andy. I think I took responsibility for that instance, but just in case I did not.
The following day we went down the coast to a surf spot. I was filming, then it just hit! I pooped in the ocean. I pooped on a rock that may or may have not been sacred. I hope it wasn’t. I pooped while in the lineup surfing. A friend paddled up, looked at me and asked, “Are you?” I nodded, he paddled away.
Later that evening I went to a local pastor’s house/church. In the middle of the tour, I ran for their outhouse. It was very dark with two bricks next to a hole. I squatted then exploded all over, I don’t even think I hit the hole! Poop was all over the walls; I cupped water in my hands and tried to rinse everything down while balancing on the bricks. There was no toilet paper either. So I found a hose spout outside the outhouse. I squatted down and dropped the back end while splashing it clean. The pastor’s mother was hanging laundry out to dry. She saw me, and just shook her head exactly like my grandma would do. I pulled up my shorts and took off.
I never did return to their house after that instance. And I definitely did not the delicious Cotu Roti again. On the plus side I lost like 25 pounds.